Death and the Six Feet Under Part

My Uncle Bill died a little over a week ago. He was 80 years old and had survived a serious bout of pancreatic cancer going on 14 years, a miracle in itself, but succumbed to other health issues. It was his time, yet we are sad to see him go. He and my Aunt Doris lived across the street from my parents and us kids for all of our lives. I will miss his infectious smile, his greeting, "Hi, hawn!" and sloppy wet kiss.

At the wake, I couldn't help thinking how nice it was to see everyone from one man's lifetime gather to say goodbye to him and (re)connect with the other mourners. It was sort of fun in a way to see people I hadn't seen in ages and I thank my Uncle for that. He chose a plain pine box in which to be buried. It was awesome.

The funeral however, freaked me out. The finality, the ceremony, everything. So many of my friends' parents have died recently and now my cousins' parent. It hit too close to home. I couldn't go to the gravesite service after the Mass. I couldn't watch the coffin go into the ground. Me, the lover of graveyards, passed down a chance to go to one!

So instead, I went to another graveyard very close to where I live and walked around.


It is fairly old by American standards and was very peaceful even though it's situated right next to a busy road. Unfortunately the church surrounded by the graveyard


was locked which didn't surprise me because that's the way it seems to be in America. One can't just wander into a church on the side of the road and expect it to be open like in the UK. The congregation of this church was mostly German and many of the gravestones were carved in German.


"Father"


The graves were well-kept although I suspect this is due to the work of the historical preservation society rather than ancestors. I may be wrong but I don't think I am, which got me to thinking that I don't want to be buried six feet under because I think I will be claustrophobic even in death. I don't want others, relatives or not, to tend my grave. I am going to find another way to be remembered.


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