Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Am I Being Overly Critical on Over Parenting?

Just this morning, a friend posted about bringing snacks (read "a meal") to her son's high school lacrosse team because that is what is expected of her. Now I realize we are talking starving teenage boys. But we are also talking teenage boys, some 18 years old, many of whom have a license to drive a 2000 pound moving vehicle. If we accept that they are old enough to drive, perhaps have a job, etc., shouldn't we also accept that maybe delivering food to them and the entire team isn't the best message to promote instilling a sense of independence and responsibility? I realize that games go long and the kids need to sit through varsity and junior varsity games, but this is nothing new.
When I was in high school, I packed an extra lunch in a cooler that came to school with me and went on the bus with me and I ate it when I got hungry after the game. I packed my own drinks or there was a cooler of water. It just was expected. I do think we rotated who brought the orange slices for half time because they did seem to just show up. And don't get me started on after game (sugary junk food) snacks when the kids are younger and playing sports. Gaaaah!
Maybe I am being a bit hypercritical and I must say that none of my kids play school sports here and I agree that I am not "in the know" but this just hit me in a way that I can't fully describe. We want our kids to be responsible and independent, but deliver food to them and the entire team?! I really consider this over parenting. As I commented on my friend's post: It's called a packed lunch. Consider it a field trip, litruhlee to a field.
I would love to hear comments, but don't expect me to be swayed.

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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Military McCarters in History

The 93rd PA at the Battle of Fair Oaks

A BLOG in honor of the 150th Anniversary of the Most Notable Day in the History of Clan McCarter

“Stranger, go tell it throughout America that we fell in defense of her laws, in the vindication of the right, for the integrity of the Republic!”

On 31 May 1862 the 93rd Pennsylvania Volunteer Infantry Regiment known as the Lebanon Guards was ordered to cross the Chickahominy River into the midst of what was to be known as the Battle of Fair Oaks or the Battle of Seven Pines. The 93rd PA of Couch's Division and several other Divisions were the furthest point of Union advance of McClellan's entire ill fated Peninsula Campaign. The 93rd fought to the very gates of Richmond.

Outnumbered and counter attacked on three sides the Union soldiers fought and fell and finally retreated in good order back to Union lines. The 93rd PA fought until they were completely out of ammunition and retreated with nothing but bayonets to defend themselves. To their credit the withdrawal was described as orderly and disciplined. The 93rd suffered losses of 20 killed, 84 wounded, and 22 missing.

The regiment's commanding officer, Col. James Mayland McCarter, was severely wounded having two horses shot from under him and laying unconscious for several hours. His brother, Capt Samuel McCarter commanding Company E, was also wounded. A third brother, 1st Lieut Marshal J McCarter of Company G was declared missing and later found to have been captured and sent to prison camp in Richmond, VA. Their fourth brother, John, was the only one unscathed that day although all four brothers must have suffered gravely together for the loss of their friends and comrades and the devastation of the regiment that James had begun with the sure conviction of an abolitionist Methodist Episcopal parson.

Col. W. F. Fox, in his “Regimental Losses” says, "The 93rd Regiment was in the hottest of the fight at Fair Oaks, where it displayed remarkable steadiness under fire." The regiment which had left Lebanon November 20th, 1861, with 1,020 men, had been reduced down to the low figure of three hundred and sixty-men. Some of these were unwell — fatigue, exposure and diarrhea playing sad havoc in the ranks of what was once as fine a regiment in numerical strength as any in the service.

The Lebanon Courier of June 12, 1862, paid tribute to the courageous native sons: "In the severely contested battle of Saturday a week, at Chickahominy, in front of Richmond, our gallant 93rd was in the thickest of the fight, and many a good fellow has sealed his devotion to his country with his blood. The regiment has truly been baptized in fire. The men of the 93rd, including many very young men in years, from among some of our most respected families, did honor to our country, and won for themselves great commendation from different parts of the country."

The following tribute was published in the Lebanon Advertiser of July 16th, 1862:

Respectfully Inscribed to the Pennsylvania 93rd, May 31st, 1862.

Noblest of heroes! ye who stood

That fearful thirty-first of May,

Beside the river's raging flood;

Whose swollen waters barred your way,-

Who fought as only freeman could,

And kept the foe at bay.

Onward ye came in fearless haste,

Nor danger reeked above, below;

Plunging in water to the waist;

Nor feared to breast Its surging flow, —

Up the opposing bank ye faced.

To meet the coming foe.

Then crashing deep the forest through,

The volleyed thunders went and came;

The leaden hall. In lightning flew.

Riding on wings of living flame;

Bearing a hundred deaths to you,

A thousand deaths to them.

But vainly onward now ye press;

Now foes appear, before concealed;

Your weaker numbers you confess.

Yet Inch by inch, contest the field;

Your little band grows less and less.

But know not how to yield.

He was a noble mark I ween.

In that fierce battle's fiercest tide.

Among the foremost foemen seen;

His heart the traitor marksmen tried

In vain — his Bible lay between.

And turned the death aside.

But holier tears for those who lay.

After the labors of the fight;

To wounds and raging thirst a prey

Through all the horrors of the night, —

Upturned your dying eyes for day.

And vainly prayed for light.

No! Not in vain! — to you then came.

Amid that wreck of broken guns.

From out the night a purer flame;

Ye saw the patriot, sainted ones.

Bend earthward — call you name by name.

And hail you, younger sons!

Be yours the brightest memory

That yet the ear of Fame has heard;

Through earth, the children of the free.

Shall bless the gallant Ninety- third;

And to our sons each name shall be

A cherished household word.

And they, the loved, to whom ye were

Beloved sons or brothers dear, —

The mother — may it comfort her —

May it assuage the father's tear;

To see all earth, one worshiper,

Beside each honored bier!

Like perfumes, which the early spring,

Borrowed from the vernal flowers.

And sheds them from her dewy wing,

Around our steps in odorous showers;

So sweet a balm shall memory bring

To soothe their loss and ours.

A notable line in the poem above refers to the remarkable event of a man saved by his bible. Capt. Dougherty was struck in the chest by a ball shattering his pocket watch and passing nearly through his bible making its last mark at this verse, “I charge thee, therefore, before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at his appearing, and his kingdom, preach the word.”

A correspondent of the New York Tribune, in speaking of the battle, says: "Take, also, the case of the 93rd Pennsylvania, Col. McCarter. Sent to support Casey immediately after the attack on his men was made, this thoroughly trained body of troops, conscientiously looked after for half a year by a commander once distinguished for his zeal as a Methodist preacher, fought furiously for an hour; were driven back from their position, but not broken; halted at the word of command, loaded, wheeled and fired — retreated, halted, loaded and fired again and again, and came off the ground in perfect order, with their two colors flying, and presenting to the whole army, a striking proof that the success of battles is in the discipline of troops, and the excellence of soldiers Is wholly derived from the conscientiousness and thoroughness of their officers."

While the McCarter brothers never recovered, the 93rd fought until the end of the war again gaining great credit for breaking up the Confederate attack at Little Round Top, Gettysburg. Col. James McCarter was semi-paralyzed from the wound to his hip and taking morphine into the autumn. One morning he was accused of being drunk on duty when another officer found him incoherent at formation. He was courtmartialed and dismissed from service. Soon after, Marshall, Samuel, and John all resigned in what could only have been a family protest at the injustice done to a gallant and wounded officer and brother.

Later in the winter of '62-'63 the regiment was described as in a state of disarray due to the ungracious loss of a beloved leader. By the spring of '63 the morale must have been so bad that despite his court martial Col McCarter was asked to rejoin the regiment. He was still too incapacitated to lead (his wounds troubled him until his death) but he rejoined the regiment as a sort of commanding officer emeritus. He was with the regiment at Gettysburg where both he and the entire regiment were undoubtedly redeemed. Col. McCarter was soon after allowed to be discharged honorably and the regiment, morale restored, fought on as one of the most notable regiments in the union.

James McCarter went back to his ministry in the Methodist Episcopal Church. His final parish being the Bethesda Methodist Church in Preston, Caroline County, Maryland, the home of his wife Elizabeth (nee Kelley), where he was buried in 1900. John, Samuel, and Marshall all returned home to Norristown, PA where their oldest brother Arthur also lived. All were machinists in various mills. There must have been quite a few McCarters in town at one time with 16 children between the four brothers and several other McCarter families in town as well! Some were recent immigrants from County Antrim in Ireland where the Clan McCarter originated.

Samuel (brother #4) and Marshall (brother #5) worked together for the rest of their lives. Samuel was the superintendent of the Washington Mills in Norristown and Marshall was his foreman. Later, Samuel's son, Louis Newbold McCarter, took over as superintendent of the mill and also the Newbold family's Eagle Iron Works next door. Eventually (1920?), the mill became the McCarter Iron Works and a notable Norristown industry for many more years.

The descendants of Marshall J McCarter were Arthur Barrett McCarter (b. 1861) and Henry Bainbridge McCarter (b 1864). Henry is known as a relatively famous American painter and illustrator with works in many museums including the Philadelphia Museum of Art, the Philadelphia Academy of the Arts, and the Phillips Gallery in Washington DC. AB I was succeeded by AB II who is known as the scion of our little corner of Clan McCarter. While we've never known any other McCarter relatives since Henry never married and AB II's brother Walt had no male children, it's clear that there are many McCarter cousins out there in PA and MD descended from Arthur/James/John/Samuel/Marshall and their many children.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Cylburn Arboretum

After my chaotic morning yesterday and a phone call from a friend who thought I might be suicidal, I decided that I needed to get out of the house. Ever since December, I have wanted to visit the Cylburn Arboretum in Baltimore. Today was the day. Our neighbors' magnolia was in immediate bloom yesterday due to the warm temperatures and I knew Cylburn had more than a few on the property. They were really gorgeous and I had a good wander.
Whilst perusing the trees, I met a reporter from Channel 13, so there was a chance I made the evening news, but I don't watch the news so I don't know if this was true. This evening's weather report was filmed there as well. I also popped into a shade garden where I felt like I was back in our English garden. Plants included:
hellebores,
leatherleaf mahoniaand a gorgeous Japanese cedar.
A friendly Robin Red-Breast posed for me as well.
I did a quick tour of the bottom floor of the Cylburn Mansion which is in need of a lot of work.
The floors were very pretty.
The walls of the entrance hall were covered in thick damask upholstery.
Very awesome, very damaged.
Nice mosaic and stained glass with cherry blossom
There was an exhibition of nature in quilts in the Visitor's Center.
Same scene: Winter above and Spring below
Hedgehogs and foxes

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Beware the Ides of March

Shakespeare's soothsayer was so spot on. Last night's and this morning's developments are just too deliciously evil not to share. I apologize for the novella.

I am having the morning from freaking hell and I just want to run away. Owen had massive homework last night and was all crabby when I had him correct over half of it that was WRONG! I was even super patient Mom. Like SUPER patient. He had to finish a book they are reading in class and was in a bad mood. I found out this morning that the bad mood wasn't related to actually reading the book, but to the vocabulary sheet that he was supposed to be doing AS he read the book. He couldn't find it in his rat's nest of papers in his binder (5 min of my searching amazingly found it - what a surprise) and when I pulled it out there were at least 50, not 5, 50! words he had to do in like 15 minutes. Not happening. So he did them and went into school late.

Finn decides he is not going to school today. Oh, how wrong he was. He has state assessments today and no matter how much I hate those things, he was going more for the fact that he had an after school detention because he "forgot" to go to two lunch detentions. Large argument ensued. He chose not to eat breakfast in an attempt to be all defiant. I didn't give a crap. He is at school.

Evan has decided he is putting a moratorium on any history homework (2 of 4 of his classes). He hasn't handed in any homework, like 8 items, in the past week and a half. WTF! I mean W.T.F! He is living in lala land thinking every college in America will open doors to him and his 3.2 sucky nothing special about me typical white boy with no extracurricular activities GPA. WTF!

Craig is supposed to email Owen's scout leader about scout camp and what merit badges he wants to do this summer. Registration is TODAY. The scout master and I have reminded Craig about this verbally and in email form for the past week. Everyday. He has spoken to Owen, they have decided. Why can't he shoot off a quick email in the morning as he is sitting on the goddamn toilet for an hour? So I call this morning into his work and ask if he sent the info to the scout master. Silence. "No." I ask for the info. He swears he will do it from work. I am about to start laughing so hysterically on the verge of hysterically crying.

Finn has a doctor appointment this afternoon. Craig took him to the second visit last week with a check for the doctor. Did he pay the doctor with the check that was filled out and signed by me? Of course not. That would involve reaching into his wallet and searching for the piece of paper that he knew was in there. He says he wasn't sure about the protocol. Such a laughably ridiculous statement. Uuuuuuuuhhhhh, protocol? So now I get to pay the doctor twice for the second and third session today. Which makes me look so freaking lame that we skipped payment on the second session.

To top it all off, my usually shy and reclusive cat is spinning in circles everywhere in the house. She snuck upstairs to our bedroom level and I think she is aware that a mouse in a cage resides above her. It is driving her insane.

I have never really wanted daughters ever. Well today, I want at least one responsible daughter who is organized, remembers things, enjoys school and hangs her clothes without reminders. I know she would be mine if I had had her. Instead I got boys who endearingly are exactly like their father, comprised of every single attribute I would change about him with few of the qualities I actually prefer. I can't remember if Caesar had any children and I am too lazy to Google it right now. Lucky for his wife and the Roman Empire if he didn't.

I do love my family. I just don't like them much right now.

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Friday, March 9, 2012

The Philadelphia Flower Show

Yesterday, I went to the Philadelphia Flower Show on a bus trip with two local friends. It was a very pleasant day. The theme this year is Hawaii: Islands of Aloha.
It was interesting seeing all of the Hawaiian decorations and many were beautiful and incredible, but I don't know. I think I am not a fan of themed attractions in general. I was also bummed that they took my ticket away from me upon entry so no souvenir :-( I definitely enjoyed the Chelsea Flower Show more in terms of ambiance.




Craig, if you are seeing this, I want something like it in our garden some day.
Escargot Begonia
Jabberwocky Begonia
Cool roots
This table setting was gorgeous. The photo does not do it justice.
Vibrant blue
Asparagus Fern

The history of the Philadelphia Flower Show is impressive.
The Pennsylvania Horticultural Society was founded in 1827 and the first flower show was held in 1829. It is also known to be the largest flower show, but I am not sure if that is within the US or the world. Wikipedia isn't sure either.

Within the flower show itself, there are a variety of competitions. My favorite was the Pressed Plant Matter artwork. People can be extremely creative and artistic.
These are made entirely of plants. I think they sort of look like embroidery.
We ended our day at the Reading Central Market.
I bought a loaf of Amish peach bread which isn't all that impressive until toasted. Then WOW! I also had a really yummy sweet Lebanon bologna and farmhouse cheddar sandwich on rye and brought home to Owen and Craig each a large dill pickle from the barrel.


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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Patience Is a Virtue

Patience is a virtue. In case you were wondering, patience is not my best attribute. In addition, shopping is one of my least favorite things to do. Everything that has happened today has tested my patience.

It all started when I woke up Evan and told him that I'd drive him to the bus stop so he could take a quick shower. Now the operative word in that sentence was "quick". I know quick is a relative term, but I do not define "quick" as a 20 minute shower when you only have a 30 minute time frame. Hence, he missed his regular bus and was forced to ride the "violent" bus which is closer and leaves later, but is much less desirable. He got all stroppy that I wouldn't drive him to school which was just not happening.

Owen has an after school activity today. He needed a form that had to be turned in today. It was ready and in a bright orange envelope which I handed to him on at least five different occasions, telling him to put it in his backpack. Finn and Owen left for the bus on time. I open the fridge to get the milk for my coffee. The orange envelope that I thought Owen placed in his backpack is UNDERNEATH the milk bottle! I'm all like, "Whuck?" I look at the clock and see that I have like three minutes to get to the bus stop and get it to him. Of course there are like a bajillion cars with no space to pull into traffic. I wait. I wait. I just go for it (thankfully, my Learner's Permit driver wasn't around to see it) and get to the bus stop right in front of the bus. Oh yeah.

I head to the grocery store with a detailed list. Everything goes well. Minimal aisle blockers, the OAPs are cheerful and awake and I get everything I need. Now I must digress. At our Giant they have these scan it things that you take around the store and self-scan your items before placing them in your own bag. I like this system a lot because I can pack my own bags whilst shopping and check out is really easy. Unless one uses coupons.

I am rarely a full-on coupon crazy person, but I had a lot of coupons today. Every time I attempted to scan a coupon, either it didn't scan or the sensor didn't register that I had slid a coupon into the coupon slot or the netherworld female cashier thought the coupon box was full. It wasn't. The attendant had to manually override each coupon and then open and close the coupon box like 20 times to "empty" the box. So. Ridiculously. Inefficient. I litruhlee could have been in my house by the time the coupon debacle had come to an end. I secretly believe that a cashier whose job has been taken away by these self checkout tills has sabotaged the coupon reader or the repairman is married to a former cashier.

Then to add insult to injury, I went to Wal-Mart to return something I had bought at the end of November. After waiting in the queue for what seemed like forever and a day and listening to a poor Middle Eastern lady try to get a refund for something she was charged for but wasn't in her bag, it was my turn. But at our Wal-Mart, the old dude door greeter has a scanner that scans the code of the item you are returning and prints out a tag so I guess they can resolve it or for inventory or something. Remarkably, he scanned my items and the machine goes haywire, beeping like crazy. He scans my items again, BEEEEP! This is all happening as I am standing in front of the cashier who needs to wait for old dude to do his job. Hootodooo.... Finally, he realizes the scanner needs a new battery, putzes around behind the counter, locates one, puuuuts it in and scans my things to then hand the tags to the cashier who then scans my things to process the return. I hand him my credit card for a credit to the account. The till opens and I can see the smallest and rustiest gears working in the cashier's brain because the till is opening and telling him it's a cash refund and this was a charge transaction. He asks the supervisor why this occurred. It turns out that since it was over 90 days, they can't refund my credit card even though I have the receipt. ?! They can't give me cash because that wasn't the original form of payment even though the cash drawer opened. ?! Instead, he has to void the transaction and refund me in store credit. At this point I am just mentally exhausted and have no fight in me. I take the store credit because I was going to buy some potting soil, but I have no will to live and my groceries are still in the car so I just head home.

I unpacked my groceries and decided that I had earned a cuppa and a donut that I had just purchased. I did eventually make a second trip to Wal-Mart today to get the potting soil and all of the carts were taken, all of them, and everyone was in slow motion along the aisles.

Throughout all of the day's events, I actually remained fairly patient and only rolled my eyes once at old dude door greeter/scanner during the battery incident. As I said earlier, patience is a virtue and I can only be a virtuous woman for so long and definitely not a full day.


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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Hampton National Historic Site

Thursday was absolutely gorgeous so I went to visit Hampton, a National Historic Site. This property is just off I-695 in Towson. We have driven by it a number of times and I have always wanted to go. My initial impression was that this property is very much like a National Trust property in the UK and no wonder. It is a Georgian mansion built from 1783-1790 and family home to the Ridgelys from 1790 until 1996 when the last resident descendant died.

The Ridgelys first made their fortune in ironwork during the Revolution and then the Civil War. They were also traders of firstly tobacco and then grain. In addition, they were racehorse breeders. Hampton was primarily a slave plantation with over 300 slaves at a time. In the 1948, the Ridgelys could no longer afford their lifestyle due to a lesser need for their goods, the Great Depression and mismanagement. They sold the house to a foundation (who later transferred the property to the National Park System) and moved across the street to the family farm. In 1996, Lillian Ridgely died and the farm property transferred to the National Park Service as well. It is quite a jewel and worth the visit.





The Ridgely coat of arms includes a stag and three stars. I am sure at one time there was a reason for each, but no one knows the significance anymore, if there ever was one.

The carpets were pretty awesome even if they were slightly gaudy.

My kind of pedicure set-up

This is a painted window shade. They were very pretty with light streaming through them.

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Friday, March 2, 2012

Muuuuch Better





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Thursday, March 1, 2012

Money Makes the World Go Round

I love money. Not in the sense that I'd like to roll around in it, but for it's artistic value and what it says about who and what a culture values. Everywhere we go, I collect that country's money. I try to get one of every denomination. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. In our travels, I have found it very difficult to get the Euro one- and two-cent coins. They just aren't used as widely (and probably should be discontinued). People looked at me like I was crazy when I would ask for my change in cents. Inevitably, all of the cents I received would be either German, French, Austrian or Italian. C'est la vie.

Anyway, we just got a box of stored things from my parents' house. Inside was a good portion of my coin collection. I got a lot of coins from my grandfather who was in WWII. As a kid, I would get the tin container off of their bookshelf and sort through them when we visited. So yesterday, I sorted through them all and organized them and researched some that I wasn't sure where they were from. The Russian and Indonesian Islands coins are tricky!


Some of the looty booty.


Overall, my collection includes 53 countries and territories including pre- and post-Euro coins from most European countries although I did not count them twice. Of those 53 countries/territories, either Craig or I or both have been to 30 of them. I have a lot of coins from Carribbean islands for some reason and we've never been to any (need to work on that) except Puerto Rico which obviously uses US currency. I think they are from my in-laws. Thanks, Gran & Gramps!

Here are a few shots of my favorites.


Hungary, 500 forint
He is one awesome Magyar.


Poland, 100 zloty
So regal in the eyebrows, nose and hair.


Czech Republic, 100 & 200 korun
These look like the same guy, but they aren't. Probably the same artist though.


Czech Republic, 200 korun reverse
Just sweet.


Sweden, 20 kronor
I love when women are represented on money, especially when they are wearing their fur and fanciest hat. Well, maybe that doesn't apply to QE II. That's just overkill.


Sweden, 20 kronor reverse
I adore this picture and think it is so cool that what I guess to be a fairytale is represented on their currency. And the perspective is awesome - a little boy or man high above farmland on a goose's back which leads me into a good segue.

Lately, I have been hearing groups of geese flying overheard whilst on their northward migration. This is a welcome sight.



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